Hello! =]

So unfortunately,

I was unable to go to the fair today on a count of my boyfriend getting sick last night,

but he is feeling better. 

So instead we went to the park and had a really good talk.

He and I were going through a hard time ( we call it "our broken" stage) 

We feel most couples go through a time where they are dealing with alot of issues and it's putting a toll on the relationship,

but if we are about to stick it out and work things out to get back to normal then we can get through anything. 

So today with our talk, we really opened up the lines of communication SO MUCH!

It was insane all the things he wasn't telling me,

not cause they were bad,

he has just never been the type to open up.

but the fact he was able to open up today really helped our relationship.

Me and Garrett at my 21st birthday celebration!

After our talk,
I went shopping with my mom and grandma =\
you all don't know my grandma,
but man shopping with her can be an absolute mission.
We got to the mall at 3:30 and I had work at 5:45
but I needed time to get ready so I said I had to be home at 5.
So of course my mom and grandma take FOREVER.
I can not tell you how long we spent talking to the guy at nordstrums in the tommy bahama section.
He was a nice guy and all,
but we had stuff to get done.
Luckily,
I kept telling my mom the time so she wouldn't forget and we got home before 5 so I had more time to do my make up and hair =]


At work tonight,
I bumed into my girlfriend from high school named Dani,
we were talking and I noticed that her skin was absolutely beautiful!
( again if you knew my mom, skin and beauty is a huge deal with her) and unfortunately,
lately I've been really struggling with my skin,
anyways,
I talk with Dani and I tell her " you know I don't mean to pry but your skin is absolutely gorgeous,
may I please ask what do you do?"
She tells me that she did the acutaine program
I freaked out cause I start the acutaine program on the 23rd of this month


For those of you who might not of heard of this,
it is a skin program that you go on with a dermatologist approval.
It requires alot of work, 2 forms of birth control cause you can not get pregnant on it, if you do there is a very high chance your child will be born disformed,
a monthly blood drawing, and monthly visits with the dermatologist. 
There are also some serious side effects ( which is what I am worried about)
Depression, suicidal thoughts, crying spells, anger, violent outbursts, seeing and hearing unreal things, felling lathargic, dangerous impulses, trouble concentrating, sleeping to much or not enough, feeling worthless or guilt. and even more.
It will basically dry out and shrink all the oil glands in my face
then make them back to normal
so the oil and liquid in my face will flow out more smoothly
instead of it being sticky the way it is now which causes acne


So after talking with her
I'm really excited about having beautiful skin,
but I am still so terrified.
I just feel so lucky to know I will have friends. family, and my boyfriend
to support me.

My Sister Karly with Sky

Starr and I w/ the japanese exchange

students, on Karlys birthday =]

Today I learned,

I'm 21 years young,

I like to go out and enjoy life while I'm still young enough to enjoy it

I have the rest of my life to sit at home

doing whatever it is I want to do,

but I want to go out

experience the world

enjoy doing whatever I can now before I get to old

I don't want to be in my 60's or 70's saying

" I wish I did this, this, or that. I want to be able to say, remember the time we did this, this, or that."